ALL >>
HumorThe smell of frying bacon was coming from the kitchen, but Sam stayed where he was. He glanced at his face in the mirror over the fireplace as if seeing it for the first time. Then he looked at the rest of the room, over his reflection's shoulder; the two old armchairs, the long dining table and the sideboard, upon which rested the big mahogany wireless.Sam liked everything about that wireless. He liked its solid chunkiness, the big wooden dials and the window with its red needle, which...
One thing you can say about George Bush, when the man decides to do something, his guiding principle does not appear to be moderation, whether it's an ill-advised constitutional amendment, a questionable war, or an immoderate nature preserve, in this case, the state of Hawaii.The area is home to diverse species and certainly merits protection. Unfortunately, among the species were a significant number of long-time inhabitants called Hawaiians.Upon hearing that their entire land was declared...
(Extended spoof, presented In 10 installments of 4 pages each. This is the third installment; previous ones are available on this site and presented below each new installment at NewsLaugh, in case you miss one or more.)
He closed it, thought for a moment, and recomposed himself. Then he walked to the bookshelf, took down another copy of his work, autographed it, and headed for the den with it.
"All signed up?" he asked.
"Yes, sir," Dan replied. "She took care of everything. Even gave...
1. You start mixing your coffee, tea, horlicks, etc - in a shaker.
2. You try to order a protein shake at the cafe.
3. You warm up for 15 mins before you go to bed with your partner.
4. You try to exorcise the 6-pack of beer you have in the fridge.
5. You carry your own low-calorie sweetener in your pocket at all times.
6. A trip to the mall is never complete without visiting a sports/GNC outlet.
7. You wear your gym shoes to the office/work.
8. More than half your clothes are from...
1. Arriving in the Town.It was a dork and strummy knight who came clopping clopping through the muck then. The knight was called Sir Gregorio Chant and his dork was Ostinato. The spring crusades had brought them along from the village of Cantabile in Canton Cadenza to our town of Capriccio, whose burgmeister is the well-known military man, Major Seventh Flat-Five and the burgmeister's wife is Augmented. The Major's children are Semiquaver, the girl, and Diminuendo, the boy. As often happens,...
A few months ago, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek piece titled, "Nap For Success."As I was scanning the ratings of my articles I noticed at least one reader hated it, awarding it a single star.For a moment I thought about that person, and the millions of people he represents. I can imagine how he feels."I stay awake all day, and half the night, and so should you!"Or, perhaps he's thinking that there is something evil that just cuts against the grain of the work ethic in the hearts and souls of...
The central intelligence agency known as the CIA is looking for more homosexuals to fill up its ranks and if you wish to bend over and do it for your country that might be a great job for you. Male homosexuals are good relationship builders like women and they can get a little bit of action on the side while getting paid to screw foreigners who might be a threat to our country.Additionally it makes sense for homosexuals to work outside the country and spread AIDS in other locations rather...
Recently at a coffee shop I has a talk with a lawyer and we got to talking about how lawyers are all crooks. He claimed he was not a crook although he was a lawyer and further mentioned that he did not like all the crooks who were in law or practicing law either.As a matter-of-fact he said many of the government lawyers are the biggest crooks. And in his law firm he said that he thought only about half of them were dishonest. In other words they cheated on their billing, misrepresented...
Many people use the term illegal immigrants and illegal aliens to describe the humans that sneak over the border between the United States and Mexico. But we should not call them illegal aliens otherwise the alien beings might get upset. Who knows we may have aliens living on our planet there are older than we are and have been here longer.In other words they are not illegal aliens at all. And we should not be mean to little green men who may live our planet. So instead of calling these...
Have you ever wondered what it was like to live in pre-historic times? Probably not. These are the things I think about when I have to go grocery shopping and stand in line for twenty minutes. My husband will tell you that the only time I go to the grocery store is when we run out of carrots and apples for the horses or cat food for our feline pal, Bear. As you can tell, grocery shopping isn't one of my favorite things to do.When I was at the store today, in addition to the treats for the...
Well, you can not always tell a man from a gorilla by looks alone, can you? Why just the other day my friend, Charlie Griffin, said while we were looking over the bikes of a motorcycle gang that visited our town, "Look at that gorilla!"I said, "Which gorilla are you talking about, thinking he was talking about a bike?"He said, "The one by the red Harley
The prolific King of the Keyboard has been writing articles for publication in Ezine @rticles
Lestat, the new musical about vampires, if the mind can conceive of such an existent, having been sucked dry at the box office, is performing the most welcome service it has since its debut. It's closing.
The notice did provide, however, for the show to remain open on nights that feature a full moon.
Marking the debut of Warner Brothers in the theater venue, where it had hoped to further lower unrealistic hopes for intellectual excellence on the boards, while making as much moola as Disney,...
As the price of gasoline continued its flaming ascent and interest rates rose once again, the Fed announced that consumer prices were edging up. Surprised, Wall Street tanked.
An analyst for Bear Stearns explained, "Individual indicators don't necessarily predict the overall trend. But, of course, if prices had gone down, that might have meant a slowdown in sales, which could also have sent stocks into the tank."
A frazzled individual investor, who witnessed his portfolio lose over 50%...
Saddam Hussein, now formally charged with crimes against humanity, is now faced with charges by irate tie makers.
"This man is guilty of killing the tie business," a representative of the plaintiffs stated immediately after his arrival from New York's garment district. "And the evidence is right before your eyes. Every day he shows up in court wearing a white shirt without a tie."
Mr. Hussein defended his actions, saying, "It's perfectly understandable why I avoid ties. I don't want to...
Didn't find what you're looking for? Use google custom search below: