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Humor(Extended spoof, presented In 10 installments of 4 pages each. This is the third installment; previous ones are available on this site and presented below each new installment at NewsLaugh, in case you miss one or more.)
He closed it, thought for a moment, and recomposed himself. Then he walked to the bookshelf, took down another copy of his work, autographed it, and headed for the den with it.
"All signed up?" he asked.
"Yes, sir," Dan replied. "She took care of everything. Even gave...
1. You start mixing your coffee, tea, horlicks, etc - in a shaker.
2. You try to order a protein shake at the cafe.
3. You warm up for 15 mins before you go to bed with your partner.
4. You try to exorcise the 6-pack of beer you have in the fridge.
5. You carry your own low-calorie sweetener in your pocket at all times.
6. A trip to the mall is never complete without visiting a sports/GNC outlet.
7. You wear your gym shoes to the office/work.
8. More than half your clothes are from...
1. Arriving in the Town.It was a dork and strummy knight who came clopping clopping through the muck then. The knight was called Sir Gregorio Chant and his dork was Ostinato. The spring crusades had brought them along from the village of Cantabile in Canton Cadenza to our town of Capriccio, whose burgmeister is the well-known military man, Major Seventh Flat-Five and the burgmeister's wife is Augmented. The Major's children are Semiquaver, the girl, and Diminuendo, the boy. As often happens,...
A few months ago, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek piece titled, "Nap For Success."As I was scanning the ratings of my articles I noticed at least one reader hated it, awarding it a single star.For a moment I thought about that person, and the millions of people he represents. I can imagine how he feels."I stay awake all day, and half the night, and so should you!"Or, perhaps he's thinking that there is something evil that just cuts against the grain of the work ethic in the hearts and souls of...
The central intelligence agency known as the CIA is looking for more homosexuals to fill up its ranks and if you wish to bend over and do it for your country that might be a great job for you. Male homosexuals are good relationship builders like women and they can get a little bit of action on the side while getting paid to screw foreigners who might be a threat to our country.Additionally it makes sense for homosexuals to work outside the country and spread AIDS in other locations rather...
Recently at a coffee shop I has a talk with a lawyer and we got to talking about how lawyers are all crooks. He claimed he was not a crook although he was a lawyer and further mentioned that he did not like all the crooks who were in law or practicing law either.As a matter-of-fact he said many of the government lawyers are the biggest crooks. And in his law firm he said that he thought only about half of them were dishonest. In other words they cheated on their billing, misrepresented...
The prolific King of the Keyboard has been writing articles for publication in Ezine @rticles
Lestat, the new musical about vampires, if the mind can conceive of such an existent, having been sucked dry at the box office, is performing the most welcome service it has since its debut. It's closing.
The notice did provide, however, for the show to remain open on nights that feature a full moon.
Marking the debut of Warner Brothers in the theater venue, where it had hoped to further lower unrealistic hopes for intellectual excellence on the boards, while making as much moola as Disney,...
As the price of gasoline continued its flaming ascent and interest rates rose once again, the Fed announced that consumer prices were edging up. Surprised, Wall Street tanked.
An analyst for Bear Stearns explained, "Individual indicators don't necessarily predict the overall trend. But, of course, if prices had gone down, that might have meant a slowdown in sales, which could also have sent stocks into the tank."
A frazzled individual investor, who witnessed his portfolio lose over 50%...
Saddam Hussein, now formally charged with crimes against humanity, is now faced with charges by irate tie makers.
"This man is guilty of killing the tie business," a representative of the plaintiffs stated immediately after his arrival from New York's garment district. "And the evidence is right before your eyes. Every day he shows up in court wearing a white shirt without a tie."
Mr. Hussein defended his actions, saying, "It's perfectly understandable why I avoid ties. I don't want to...
Responding to the plight of Palestinians in terms of healthcare, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert played good guy, in a voice that has too long been absent in the Middle East, saying that Israel would buy drugs and medical equipment for hospitals in Gaza, using funds it is withholding from tax and customs receipts it has collected for the Palestinians since Hamas came to power.
He went on to say, "We will pay if necessary out of our own pockets .... We wouldn't allow one baby to suffer one night...
The American Heart Association has proved that laughing reduces your heart problems, as the circulation of blood becomes smooth. In fact, laughing reduces nearly 40% of your health problems.Try to change your attitude towards life because most of the times you spend time thinking about your past. Instead of that recall the moments of your life that brought pure joy to your heart. Naturally you will feel good. Similarly, when you begin laughing, it soothes your mind and you feel good.You...
Every now and then I like to frequent our local liquor store to stock my bar. Our neighborhood store is nothing special, but has what I need when I need it. I have never paid a whole lot of attention to the sign as I entered the establishment. The sign clearly states that not only do they sell beer and wine, they also sell party supplies. Great. You never know when a party may break out and having a store with party supplies at your disposal is nothing but a posititve thing.
I walked into...
The Surgeon General, after reading the results of a recent report about the alarming number of fatalities in U. S. hospitals that are due to preventable human error, was uncertain about what hospital to check his grandmother into when he learned that she was suffering from shortness of breath.
He decided the time had come from decisive government action. As a result, all hospitals must now display at the registration desk the following warning: "The Surgeon General has determined that...
Todd, out of town on business and looking for a bit of comfort, knew he was in trouble when the topless dancer he just couldn't say no to slipped his next twenty into her silver garter, and, with a twinkle in her green eyes, asked, "Would you like to go to the champagne room? It's more private in there."
Although this was Todd's first visit to this particular club, he had been trapped into that expensive intimacy once before at another topless spot in New York and knew, legally, she could...
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